One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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