Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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