they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
