I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
