the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Someone signed my nipple.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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