so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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