Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
