I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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