she was so not down for the gang bang
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize