wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
