In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He? As in you personified your dick?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
