i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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