direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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