my mouth tastes like poor choices
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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