I like to think it a success when the cops are called
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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