Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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