well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
