i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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