I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
