But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
