she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
