ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
