I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
