Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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