At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm like, not good at living.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
