We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
