I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize