Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
