I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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