Can Purell be used as lube?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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