I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
