hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
