if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
