When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
