Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
