You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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