Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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