um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
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You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
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I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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