im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
