TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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