shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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