I think I can smell my own vagina right now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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