Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
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You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
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I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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