ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize