I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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