You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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