i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
