youre lurking in front of me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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