sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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