I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
