he puts the penis in happiness.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize