Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize