Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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