Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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