He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
