I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he puts the penis in happiness.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
